How to Start a Divorce When Husband Had an Affair

Question from Jane, How to Start a Divorce When Husband Had an Affair

Answer from AI:

If you’re considering starting a divorce due to your husband’s affair, and you have children involved, there are several steps and considerations to keep in mind. Below is a general guide to help you understand the process and what you might need to do.

1. Understanding Grounds for Divorce

In the United States, divorce laws vary by state, but most states offer both “no-fault” and “fault” divorce options.

• No-Fault Divorce: You don’t need to prove wrongdoing. Common grounds include irreconcilable differences or an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.
• Fault Divorce: You must prove that your spouse’s misconduct, such as adultery, caused the marriage to fail. This can sometimes impact alimony and property division.

2. Filing for Divorce

Here are the general steps to file for divorce:

1. Consult an Attorney: Given the complexities of your situation, especially with children and property involved, it’s crucial to consult with a family law attorney. They can provide personalized advice and help you navigate the legal system.
2. File a Petition: The divorce process begins by filing a petition for divorce with the family court in your jurisdiction. This document outlines your reasons for seeking a divorce and your desired outcomes regarding child custody, support, and property division.
3. Serve the Papers: Your spouse must be formally notified of the divorce proceedings. This is typically done through a process server or law enforcement officer.
4. Response: Your spouse will have a certain amount of time to respond to the petition. They can agree, disagree, or file a counter-petition.

3. Child Custody and Support

When children are involved, the court’s primary concern is their best interests. Factors considered include:

• The child’s age and health
• The emotional bond between the child and each parent
• Each parent’s ability to care for the child
• The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community

Child support is typically calculated based on state guidelines, which consider both parents’ incomes and the needs of the child.

4. Property Division

Since the house is in your husband’s name but you moved in together, and you were a stay-at-home mom for most of the marriage, you may have a claim to a portion of the home’s value. States follow either:

• Community Property: Assets acquired during the marriage are typically split 50/50.
• Equitable Distribution: Assets are divided fairly, though not necessarily equally, based on various factors like the length of the marriage and each spouse’s financial situation.

5. Alimony

Given that you were a stay-at-home mom for most of the marriage and have only recently started working, you may be eligible for alimony (spousal support). Courts consider factors such as:

• The length of the marriage
• Your financial needs and your spouse’s ability to pay
• Your standard of living during the marriage
• Your contributions to the marriage, including homemaking and child-rearing

6. Legal Resources and Next Steps

Here are some resources to help you get started:

• U.S. Courts Divorce Information
• LawHelp.org – Provides free legal information and resources

7. When to Seek Legal Advice

Given the complexities of your situation, including the affair, children, and property issues, it’s highly recommended to seek legal advice. A family law attorney can provide guidance tailored to your specific circumstances and help protect your rights and interests.

Remember, this information is a general guide. For personalized advice, please consult with a legal professional.